In the 21st century, family dynamics are no longer the same across the board.
While women traditionally stayed at home with the children while their husbands joined the workforce, it’s normal to see both parents pursuing a fulfilling career.
However, that doesn’t mean stay-at-home parents don’t exist, but some of their roles have been shifted.
Kayla Roussin, 27, is a stay-at-home mother and understands how tiring it can be taking care of children on your own.
She also knows that just because she didn’t pursue a professional career, the household duties shouldn’t fall on her shoulders alone.
The mother-of-three wants other mothers to be aware of that fact too, and took to Facebook, to get her point across.
“I just want to address something that has been heavy on my heart lately.” Roussin wrote.
“When my husband and I decided I should be a stay at home mom, we agreed that that’s what I would be, a MOM. I am not a stay at home housekeeper. Yes, I clean throughout the day, but my main focus will always be my children.”
Roissin said that while she does do chores around the house, it “takes a team to keep our home clean.”
“He does not walk in the door and scold me for the pile of dirty dishes in the sink, he just cleans them. We fold the laundry together after WE put our kids to bed, and use that as time to talk about the day or whatever is on our minds. He does most of the outdoor work, not because I won’t, but because he uses that time to bond with the kids and teach them how to mow/weedwhip/etc.”
She continued, adding that she decided to become a stay-at-home parent to be “present” in her children’s lives, not just so the family would live in a spotless house.
“If they want to color, we’re going to make a masterpiece to hang proudly on the fridge. If they want to read a book, I’m going to read that book as many times as they want. I am by no means saying that you should let your house turn into a dump, but I feel like so many men just expect the house to be spotless just because their wives stay at home.”
Roussin added that she thanks her husband multiple times a day for making it possible for her to stay at home with their kids, and encourages other husbands to do the same.
“My heart truly breaks when I hear so many women say they are scolded by their husbands for not having the house in tip top shape when they get home or that their husbands don’t help with bedtime routine. Having a family takes an immense amount of effort from everyone, kids included.”
“Going to work and paying the bills does not exclude you from parenting and household duties. So husbands, if you’re reading this, thank your amazing wives for giving up everything to raise those beautiful babies you made together, and wives, thank those hubbies for making staying home possible and please remember, the mess can wait 💜 God bless.”
Since the In The Midst Of Mama blogger posted her essay on August 24, it’s already received several hundred likes and shares.
“You just see so many moms complain about the fact that their husbands get upset that the house isn’t clean when they get home from work, or dinner is not on the table. It makes me so sad that so many people have to deal with that,” Roussin said in an interview with PEOPLE, when asked what prompted her post.
“I am on the go all day, and my kids are my first priority. So cleaning the house is not on the top of my to-do list.”
“I feel like so many moms these days are so consumed with cleaning the house so their husbands aren’t upset that they end up missing out on their kids being young. And that makes me so sad.”
However, Rossin said she’s received both praise and criticism for her candid thoughts.
“There were comments from people saying that I was lazy and that is not the case. There were a couple of men who commented on it and said, ‘Well, I’m glad my wife doesn’t think like this.’ It just made me sad.”
“I’m speaking to the women that feel obligated to keep their houses spotless. Not because they want to, but because they need to because of their husband’s expectation.”
Regardless of some negative response, Rossin said she’s thrilled she’s spread her message.
“My intention was to let moms know that open communication between you and your spouse is so important. I was hoping to reach men and women.”
“I was hoping that women would realize it’s okay to leave the mess there. I’m not saying to make your house a dump … but being a stay-at-home mom means so much more than keeping your house clean. It means being there for your kids.”
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